Are you allowing negativity to drag you down? It may be because some of your human needs are not being met. We all have needs for security, for certainty, for variety, for connection and love, for significance – having the affirmation that one’s life is valuable and important, for growth, and a need to make a contribution to the world – to help and support others.
It is important to find strategies for meeting all of your human needs. By meeting your needs you can enable yourself to feel strong and confident, and you can find strategies for meeting those needs more effectively and with more success. Sometimes the role of a coach is to act as a guide, to help you create more effective ways of meeting your needs, and becoming stronger.
Think about living in a house and only ever looking out of one window, the one that shows you the shaded part of the world, where it's darker and colder. It's important to look out of all of the windows and to discover that there is sunlight on the other side, and that there is a side that offers brighter light and warmth. See if you can find the other windows inside of yourself, the ones that reveal warmth and brightness and positivity. Find the ways, inside yourself, that you have succeeded in meeting your needs and assess how your needs can be even more effectively satisfied.
Getting your human needs met, and getting in touch with your strengths are both an important part of the coaching process. By getting in touch with our strengths we empower the stronger part of ourselves and create self-confidence and future successes.
Many factors can cause us to become excessively focused on our limitations. Someone who lives alone, for example, may be prone to feelings of solitude and loneliness. It becomes necessary to find ways of fulfilling the need for connection and love. If there have been good relationships in the past, we can take some comfort in our memories of those close relationships. The close relationships we have in the present may fulfill some of our need for connection, but possibly we have to work at making them stronger and more nurturing. Or we may need to find ways of creating new relationships with others in order to fill the need for connection.